this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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