His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
