I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
