I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We don't watch enough power rangers
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
