You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
