2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
