You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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