I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
