also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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