I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
