Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize