You smell like stripper and shame
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
