I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I need moral support for this bender
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
