i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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