drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
