I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
