I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize