But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
