I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
