I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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