I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
