I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
