She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
