I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
