My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
