Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
