did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
