so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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