handjob tips. give me some.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
As shirtless as possible
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
