It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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