I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
