Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it's great music for shaving your balls
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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