I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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