when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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