Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
