I must be too annoying 4 u.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
