69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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