It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
