Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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