He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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