I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
