We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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