You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
