We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
