I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
