You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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