I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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