Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
