why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
