I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
