The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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