Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize