I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
