Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
