So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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