i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
