There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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