We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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