Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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