fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
