i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
