I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
