Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
