am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
