Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if only i could text you this smell
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
