He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
