ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
