found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
