That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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