and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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