I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
