i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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