I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
