At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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